Thursday 25 July 2013

Folly of Royalty

I've opted out of your subject folly
The past was yours, your future's uncertain
An unwanted stage with your airs and graces
It's time to draw your final curtain

A privileged birthright from a by-gone age
A pointless and powerless waste of money
God save our tourist industry
I'd laugh at your silly ways, but it's really not that funny

We're all born equal with freedom of choice
Unless you're a king, a queen or a duke
"Your Majesty", "Your Grace", "My Lord" and "My Lady"
All these titles just make one puke

Send me to the tower and off with my head

For my treasonous words many centuries past
But millions like me share these views
Queen Elizabeth, my dear, may you be the last



Thursday 11 July 2013

Sean, Denise & The Monkey Towel

Sunday 23 June

Sadly, our last day.  Other guests had left our accommodation the previous day so we ate breakfast alone this morning with Denise (for the 7th time this week) enhancing our dining experience. We chatted briefly to Denise to express our gratitude and how much we had enjoyed ourselves. After breakfast, we packed straight away (sadly having to leave the "monkey towel" which Sean had designed for us) and headed down to reception to conclude our week at 2 Heath Cottages. I have written a Trip Advisor review for our experience in this B&B and would strongly recommend staying here if you are ever in the Wareham area. 

It had been a most enjoyable week. The weather was kind to us. Sean & Denise were even kinder and Dorset was as resplendent as ever. Our beach walks were particularly memorable. We hope to return to Dorset again in the not too distant future.





A Frome, A Piddle & A Baker's Arms

Saturday 22 June

For our last full day of the week we decided to split the time into 3 sections of morning, afternoon and evening.  During the morning we drove into Wareham town centre. The weather today was cool and cloudy but still no sign of rain so we decided to have a stroll around Wareham's "walls". There are no actual walls left but the path follows the line of where the town walls once stood. Wareham is a relatively small town so the circular walk only took around an hour. The most picturesque part of the walk is where the Rivers Frome and Piddle(!) meet.

We later had a hot drink in the Salt Pig cafe, then I had a look in the museum whilst Connie browsed the shops. We left around lunchtime after visiting a local supermarket to buy some provisions to take into Monkey World for an afternoon picnic. Another marvelous afternoon was had in this Ape Rescue Centre.  The work of Monkey World is now well documented but it is worth reiterating that it is NOT a zoo. Every primate there has it's own remarkable story and the legacy of the late, much missed Jim Cronin who created the centre is now more successful than ever in the work they do rescuing abused and neglected primates from around the world.

We left Monkey World around 5pm and headed back to Heath Cottages. We still hadn't fixed up a place to eat for our last evening so after making a few phone calls we managed to get booked into a marvelous. thatched roof pub/restaurant called The Bakers Arms which we had passed many times on our travels during the week.  We caught the bus there and our dining experience in this establishment was first class.  There are/were some negative reviews on Trip Advisor for The Bakers Arms but our experience was delightful.  The food was excellent, the staff were friendly and efficient on a busy Saturday evening and the atmosphere was lively but not rowdy.   It was the perfect end to a near perfect week. We caught a late bus back to Heath Cottages and, due to the long drive back home the following morning, we had a relatively early night



Monday 8 July 2013

Weary Weymouth

Friday 21 June

We decided to visit Weymouth today. There was no direct bus route, however, so I drove. There is a relatively new park and ride service now in Weymouth so we took advantage of this as parking is notoriously difficult in the town. We disembarked the P&R bus near the harbour area, whereupon we walked around the harbourside to the Brewers Quay shopping development. We last visited here in 2007 and was impressed then, but not so now. Unfortunately, the recession seems to have hit Weymouth particularly hard as half of the shops had closed down. The sun was shining brightly again so we decided a better bet would be to head for the beach.

We took our shoes off and walked along the slightly pebbly beach, taking time to splash in the ice cold waters of Weymouth bay. It felt good to be breathing in the fresh, salty air on another warm (if a little windy) June Dorset day. We proceeded to enjoy another ice cream (it's rude not to) then lay down on a less pebbly part of the beach where we stayed for a few hours. Again, it felt good to lose oneself in the view of a south coast bay.

Later, we moved onto the main shopping area in the town and browsed for a while. The positive side to Weymouth is it's bay and it's a traditionally lively town. However, it has a significant percentage of less than desirable residents. We noted this last time we were here. It really isn't in keeping with the other resorts in Dorset (Poole and Swanage in particular are very easy on the eye) and it's not somewhere I would be comfortable walking around after the sun goes down(in this neck of the woods the unsavoury element have that distinctive west country pirate tinged accent which adds to the threatening tone).

The weather turned slightly later in the afternoon and became cool and cloudy so we headed for the local Wetherspoons(again!) and as it was Friday ate the inevitable fish and chips. We then caught the P&R bus back to the car and drove back to Heath Cottages. We both felt a bit lacking in energy at this point so stayed in our room for the rest of the evening, watching a bit of TV and chillaxing




Wareham Wedding Anniversary

Thursday 20 June  -   Wedding Anniversary

Today was Connie and I's wedding anniversary so where is the obvious place to spend it?  Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre of course! We spent most of the day there, listening to all the keeper talks and generally enjoying ourselves.

Post Monkey World we had to decide where to go for the evening so on the way back we stopped off at a pub/restaurant just outside Wareham with the possibility that we would eat there later. We ordered a drink and sat outside in the beer garden as, yet again, it was a warm, sunny evening. The menu, however, wasn't to our tastes so we returned to Heath Cottages, then showered and changed. We decided to return to Wareham via the bus as there are plenty of places to eat in the town.

We called into a small, traditional pub called The Kings Arms. Whilst we were ordering a drink and deciding what to eat, another couple, who were staying at Heath Cottages, walked in  They were going to eat there also. Small world ! We ate together and had a pleasant meal chatting with them. Also at an adjacent table were another couple who had overheard some of our conversation and joined in as it turned out they were from Manchester as well. Even smaller world !

After the meal, the other couple from Heath Cottages were going for an evening stroll so Connie and I visited The Old Granary pub/restaurant which has an enviable location next to the River Frome. We ordered some drinks and sat in their garden which overlooks the river. This was a truly idyllic scene and a perfect way to spend our anniversary evening. Later, we had a further drink in a nearby pub called The Quay Inn then it was time to catch the last bus. Nightfall had now arrived revealing a clear, starry sky and crescent moon. The bus stop was next to the river which had some ducks settling down for the night. I had a chat with them (much to Connie's chagrin) until the bus arrived.

Within 15 minutes we were back at Heath Cottages and so ended another wonderful day. This felt like truly living an enviable life.

Sunday 7 July 2013

Corfe Castle, Steam Train & Peveril Point

Wednesday 19 June 2013

Our agenda today included Swanage, via Corfe Castle, via bus and steam train. Again, the weather conditions were warm and sunny. We disembarked from the bus in Corfe Castle then purchased a return ticket on the delightful steam train service to Swanage. On arrival we headed straight to the beach and paddled in the sea whilst walking from one end of the bay to the other. Wonderful.

We enjoyed the inevitable ice cream then returned along the promenade to the small shopping area. Unlike Bournemouth, Weymouth or, to a lesser extent, Poole, Swanage is relatively unspoilt with more independent shops and fewer generic high street names. In early afternoon we stopped off at the Ship Inn again and enjoyed a delicious light lunch. I suggested a walk up to Peveril Point, where we have been on a previous visit to Swanage, to walk off our breakfast and lunch. We reached this most stunning of beauty spots and, unlike the previous time, it was quiet. We sat down on a bench and marveled at the scene before us.  I have written a short poem about this area elsewhere in my blog (see Peveril Point post). The word "tranquility" could have been coined for this moment, so much so that Connie had a short nap. The sound and smells of the sea, together with birdsong and the view of the Dorset coastline made for a quite beguiling experience.

Later, we made our way back to the station for the steam train back to Corfe Castle. As well as the castle ruins, of course, Corfe Castle is also the name of the village in the shadow of the stunning spectacle of the once magnificent castle. We didn't have time to visit the ruins this time so we settled for a quick stroll around the village.  It was now early evening so we ate in the Greyhound pub. The food in here was very agreeable, together with friendly, efficient service. 

We still had an hour before our return bus journey to Heath Cottages so we strolled over to another pub called the Fox Inn.  This is a most unusual establishment. There are no pumps, just 2 spirit optics and beer served from barrels behind the bar. I settled for a pint of foaming ale, whilst Connie settled for a soft drink from under the bar. In the centre of the floor in the main bar area was a large well covered by a glass top.  We headed outside to the beer garden which was long and narrow.  Indeed, it went on and on and on and on!  There was a small army of volunteers helping out with some planting and general garden maintenance whilst we were there so once we reached the far end of the gardens we chatted to some of the workers whilst we supped our drinks.  We later caught the bus back to Heath Cottages.

This had been a particularly enjoyable day.



Friday 5 July 2013

Bournemouth Cross Dressers

Tuesday 18 June

Today we visited Bournemouth. We traveled there by bus via a connection in Poole. We arrived in the town centre in warm early summer sunshine so we treated ourselves to an ice cream whilst we watched the Bournemouth Balloon (a hot air balloon in a central park one can ride in) going up and down. Neither of us fancied going up in it partly due to the excessive price and the poor safety records of balloons generally. 

Off to the beach we went next but no sooner had we kicked off the shoes and paddled in the sea that a mist rolled in and the temperature dropped by about 10 degrees. Back on went the shoes and off we went for a walk on the short promenade side of the pier. Just a slight whinge about the pier at this point. Why do Bournemouth charge admission to walk to the end of their underwhelming pier when places such as Southport and Llandudno have free access to their far superior piers? 

After our walk we headed into the town centre and browsed the shops. By late afternoon we were getting peckish so went to the ubiquitous Wetherspoons for some chicken skewers with chips and salad. Whilst in the pub I noticed 2 cross-dressing men getting served at the bar. 10 minutes later, 3 different cross-dressing men also entered the pub and sat down (but not with the other 2)  It was around 4pm on a Tuesday afternoon. Is Bournemouth the cross dressing capital of the UK ?  If so, then if I ever fancy donning a dress, wig and lipstick I will know now where to head for a good time.

We returned back to Heath Cottages, again via Poole. It was a warm sunny evening so Denise and Sean allowed us to pass through their back garden for entry on to a tranquil nature reserve called Sandford Heath. We followed a few tracks but reached a point where I felt there was a serious danger we were going to get completely lost so we returned back to base.We briefly chatted again to Denise & Sean and headed back to our room for the evening where I selfishly watched a Confederations Cup football match whilst Connie read a book. We weren't always middle-aged you know!

Poole, Swanage & Tattooed Kids

Monday 17 June

This morning we breakfasted for the first time at Heath Cottages, and what a joy it was. A varied menu to suit all tastes wonderfully prepared by Sean and attentively served by Denise. This is the only time I will mention breakfast as the quality stayed the same throughout the week. 

After breakfast we decided to visit Poole. The cottages are on a major Dorset bus route so we bought a weekly ticket and mostly left the car in the drive. On arrival in Poole we browsed a few independent shops and headed for the harbour area. The sun came out and lit up our view of Brownsea Island and the surrounding area. Beautiful. We walked by the harbour and found our way into Poole Park which has an adjacent shelled beach. Connie spent some time "borrowing" some shells. 

After taking in the fresh air and tranquility, we leisurely strolled back to the town centre. We lunched on chicken wings in Wetherspoons then returned to the harbour front for more sightseeing. We later caught the bus back to Heath Cottages then, after showering and changing, headed straight back out and caught a bus to Swanage for the evening. We ate in an Italian restaurant in the town then had a delightful evening stroll around Swanage's seafront. As the evening chill arrived we took sanctuary in a comfortable, friendly pub called The Ship Inn in the town, where we relaxed with a few alcoholic beverages. We returned to the bus station for the last bus back to Heath Cottages.

Whilst waiting for the bus, 2 young girls wandered into the station looking rather worse for wear. Both were dressed inappropriately and one had a large tattoo on her back.We tried to guess their age but as one was tattooed I assumed she must have been at least 18 (but didn't look it).  Upon boarding the bus they both requested child fares. They were clearly drunk and dressed like adults but also wanted to be treated as children. Ridiculous. Astonishingly, the driver accepted this and let them on with child fares without requesting any ID. Even more ridiculous.

Thursday 4 July 2013

Dorset, 2 Heath Cottages & Monkey World

Having recently spent a wonderful week in Dorset, I wish to share my experiences in a day by day account of the time. Don't expect tales of drunken debauchery; substance abuse and naked sunbathing (I did all this the week before) so here goes:

Sunday 16 June

After a 6 hour journey, my wife and I arrived at 2 Heath Cottages (B&B, 2 miles from Wareham) at approximately 3pm. We were met by Denise & Sean (owners) and shown to our delightful en suite room which was to be our home for the next week. My wife (we shall call her Connie from now on) suggested we leave the unpacking and head straight for Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. We have a yearly pass which includes free admission.  We spent an hour there catching up with our adopted chimps then headed into Wareham town centre for something to eat. We ate a Sunday roast in a pub which shall remain nameless.  The food was OK but the service was dire. Unfortunately, we had a waitress who was more interested in smoking and laughing outside with other customers than serving us. Fortunately, this would turn out to be our only poor dining experience in the whole week. Later, we returned to Heath Cottages, unpacked and stayed in for the rest of the evening. End of day 1.



Wednesday 3 July 2013

Ode to Paddy

Patrick was born in the Irish Free State
To Edward, Mary and a sister called Kate
For 13 years County Wexford was home
A rural landscape with places to roam


Emigration to England and Manchester beckoned
A good place to find work it was reckoned
A baby was born, now he had a brother
He was christened John by his father and mother

Paddy worked hard for a drink and a song
As humble and honest as the day is long
His favourite tune was Raglan Road
He always attended Mass, wherever his abode

A well read thinker who liked a bet
There may be a statue of him built at Aintree yet
In his life England played a major part
Ireland remained forever in his heart

Accepting, likeable, knowledgeable and fair
Qualities he possessed as we remember him in prayer
Paddy retained his Catholic faith to the last
We pray for his onward journey now he has passed