Thursday 16 August 2012

The Psycho Surgeons

In my late teens and throughout my 20s I attended more gigs than I can now remember. My preferred choice of music ranged from Rock through to all kinds of Alternative bands. Most of these were best seen live as their studio work usually didn't do them justice.

Venues attended included Manchester Apollo; International 1 & 2; Academy; Manchester University; Roadhouse; (original) Band on the Wall amongst many others. Less frequently, festivals and football stadiums were also visited for the more mainstream acts such as Pink Floyd; Deep Purple; Ozzy Osbourne; AC/DC etc.

The Witchwood in Ashton under Lyne has always been a favourite. When I first attended this venue in the late 80s it was then a pub called The Gamecock. The pub hosted live bands on a regular basis. It became so popular that it was transformed into a bespoke music venue. The room at the back of the pub was extended and fitted out to accommodate around 200 people. This would become the scene of many joyful nights of rapscallion behaviour. 

Around 1987, The Witchwood sometimes had acts on 7 nights a week so, on the advice of a mate, I went along with him on a midweek night to see a band called The Psycho Surgeons. I didn't expect there to be much of an audience so I felt safe donning my recently purchased spectacles. They were classic 80s style i.e massive, and I also treated myself to have them tinted so I looked extra cool(?!) 

We arrived there slightly later than planned so it was only around 10 minutes to show time. I couldn't believe what I saw before me. The place was packed and it was an almighty struggle just to get to the bar for a drink. Seemingly, the band had a large cult following that I was previously unaware of. We managed to squeeze in to the bar area and wedged ourselves against the bar itself. The room was clearly overcrowded. As the band came on the audience went nuts. They were a 4 piece band and the drummer, bassist and lead guitarist started the intro to one of their crazed songs. I gripped my pint closely to my chest as the moshing had started already and had even extended to where I was standing.

The lead singer emerged and the delirium in front of me went up another notch. He was dressed in a full surgeons gown complete with mask and hair net (hence the name of the band!). He leapt around the small stage for a few minutes, whilst the band played behind him, then ripped off his mask and hair net to reveal outrageously long hair, then screamed his vocals into the microphone which brought about another crowd surge. I had not seen anything like this live before. It was truly insane. Over the next few songs his gown also came off leaving him bare chested.

Around 4 or 5 songs in, out of nowhere, a huge settee cushion appeared in the audience in front of me.  The ceiling was very low at this time in the concert room so the crowd surfers literally had their hands on the ceiling while this cushion was flung around the heads of the crowd ahead. It was hilarious to view so I just laughed along with everyone else. Suddenly, the cushion was hurled in my direction. I saw it too late and it caught me full on the side of the head. This resulted in my expensive specs flinging off my face and into the crowd around me. The audience were packed like sardines and were crowd surfing and moshing like there was no tomorrow. I quickly started pushing and shoving those around me to locate my glasses but knew deep down it was a forlorn hope.

Eventually, the chaos in front of me relented for a minute so I was able to bend down and search the floor. I found the remnants of what were my pride and joy in several smashed, crushed pieces on the floor. I was devastated. My mate was laughing his head off but my sense of humour had exited stage left.  The enormity of my situation dawned on me very quickly. Firstly, I could not now see the band and, more importantly, these were my only pair of glasses which meant I could not drive to work the following morning. At this point I lost the plot and told my mate I was going home as my night was ruined. The following day I had to take the day off work to procure an emergency pair of glasses.

I learnt a harsh lesson on this night and never again would I wear glasses so see bands such as these. I have never worn contact lenses either so there have been a lot of bands I have seen as kind of blurry outlines!

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