I know the title of this post may sound like a tale about some other weird band I've seen but no this story is all about something altogether very different so read on.....
As I was growing up we always had a family cat in our house, I was slightly too young to remember "Queenie" (she gave birth to dozens of kittens apparently) so Cinders was the name of the first cat I remember. Her name came from her liking of cinders (the remains of burnt coal from our fires) when she was a kitten. She was black and white and I really liked her. When she was around 12 months old she had a litter of 4 kittens. We gave the kittens away when they were weaned and had Cinders spayed shortly after to prevent a repeat of the Queenie experience. No more kittens for Cinders!
She was a friendly-natured cat and considering she was mithered by several kids she never scratched or bit anyone. Like most cats, eating and sleeping was her preferred way of life. When I was around 12 or 13 a mate at school brought in some baby stick insects in a covered bowl of soil. There were 4 of them and all the lads were eager to take a closer look. I thought they looked great. I didn't really have an interest in insects generally but these really grabbed my attention. My mate was selling them as he had dozens at home and these insects were new born from eggs that had hatched in his tank. He was offering them for 5p each. I bought them off him straight away with money out of my "spends". I didn't, however, consult my parents first.
My mate at school had told me they were really easy to keep as all they ate were privet leaves and they could live in an empty fish tank. I thought this was great as we had massive privets at home and we currently also had a spare empty fish tank so it would cost nothing. As I walked in the house, my mother said "what are you carrying a bowl of soil for ?" I hadn't bothered trying to hide it as I was sure this wasn't going to cause any problem for anyone else. I told her they were baby stick insects and I was going to look after them. She was Ok with the idea as long as I was careful. When I told my Dad when he got home he just said "What?!" then shook his head and walked off. I took that as a positive response!
I got the old fish tank out of the garage, cleaned it up, then went privet picking. I placed the tank in our front room then carefully placed the bowl of "stickies" into the tank. They soon ran out and made for the leaves, so I removed the bowl and started watching them. Soon after, Dad came in the room and said "There isn't a top for that tank you know". "So ?" I replied. He looked at me like I was some complete moron and said "I'm no stick insect expert but don't you think they may try and escape?" The penny dropped. "Oh yeh, I didn't think of that", I said.
I got straight on the phone to my mate from school about my predicament. He said "No problem, just put some clingfilm over the top of the tank and make some tiny air holes in it". This is exactly what I did. When Dad saw my handy-work he just gave it a look like "I'm not sure about this".
Over the next few months the stickies grew up very quickly. When they were small they were very active and I liked observing them and talking to them like you do. I used to tell them how Manchester City FC were getting on and how one day I would love to have a girlfriend from Wheels with bell shaped hair (See "Dorothy" post) and that kind of thing. It only took the stickies around 3 to 4 months to fully mature. Now they were proper "sticks" i.e fully camouflaged against the privets. They never moved so became quite possibly the most boring "pet" any teenage boy could ever have.
Whilst they were small Cinders used to sit by their tank occasionally and with typical curiosity would paw at in now and then. However, she never showed any malice towards them but it was still decided to keep her out of the front room as much as possible and to always keep the door to the room fully closed overnight. Now they had fully grown she completely ignored the tank and rarely even ventured into the room they were in.
One day when I was cleaning the tank and changing the privets etc I noticed some small, odd shaped objects in one corner. I left them there then when I was next in school I told my mate about what I had seen. "They've laid eggs, mate.Well done !", he said. "Oh, I wasn't really planning on that" I replied. He advised me to take them out then put them in a container with fresh moist soil and they would hatch. I did what he said, then a week or 2 later they hatched. There were about 10 of them! I wasn't happy with this and started to think I have bitten off more than I can chew here. I put the new arrivals in the tank with their parents and wondered what my next move would be.
It was early one Saturday morning and as I walked down the stairs I noticed something crawling in the hallway. At the same time I noticed the door to the front room was ajar. I immediately ran into the front room and what lay before me was a scene of stickie carnage. The squeamish must not read on at this point. (I will tell you when you can rejoin the story).
The clingfilm was only half covering the top of the tank. I looked around the room and there were bits of stickies everywhere. There were also a few small ones still alive in the tank and other mutilated ones half crawling around. I knew instinctively what had happened but Cinders was nowhere to be seen. My parents were out and my sister was still in bed. I was utterly panic stricken. I quickly brushed up as many body parts as I could and put them in the dustbin. I flushed the mutilated ones down the toilet, then re-covered the tank for the ones still alive inside it. As my sister was getting up and coming down the stairs I heard her shout something. I ran to the stairs and there was a 3 legged stick insect halfway up. I put it out of it's misery but my misery continued.
...OK the squeamish can rejoin us again. I scoured the house for any other stickie evidence but couldn't find any. Next I rang my mate from school. He was sort of half laughing and half disgusted with me. He explained that stickies don't live very long without leaves so it was unlikely they would turn up anywhere else in the house. I told him that was the worst 20p I had ever spent.
Whilst my parents were still out I watched Tiswas on TV for a while to get my head together. Cinders strolled into the room and sat on the couch next to me. She was licking her lips and cleaning herself. I also thought she was looking very pleased with life. Despite my tender years I also realised she wasn't to blame as what she had done was just normal feline behaviour. I suddenly had a brainwave and decided to free the remaining stickies in the tank "back into the wild" by placing them on the privets in the garden. Job done and game over I thought.
When my mother got home I explained what had happened. I carried out an enquiry afterwards as to who had left the front room door open but no one owned up to it. All I knew was it wasn't me. I had become bored with them anyway so when the dust had settled I wasn't too bothered.
I told my mate at school I had "freed" the remaining stickies outside. He called me a clown and said that was the worst thing I could have done as they would die a slow and painful death in the cold temperatures and with so many predators. I went looking for them after school but there was no sign of them. I started to feel bad about myself again.
For the record, I have successfully kept goldfish since without any mishaps but my stick insect days ended the day of the "Invasion of Cinders".
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