Waxing Lyrical With Yankee Candle

Been eating fish as it's Friday

and your house smells rotten?

sort it with the scent

of a melting Clean Cotton

Recklessly deserted your dreams

as you thought they would never be?

wake up and smell the belief

with a waft of Sweet Pea

Found all the boxes

but unsure where to tick?

disperse the Meadow Mist

With a scintillating Cinnamon Stick

Want to get even with a rival

who's given you every motive?

plan your ultimate triumph

with a Honey Glow votive

Found life's happiness door

but can't find the handle?

melt all your troubles away

with a ubiquitous Yankee Candle

The Trek of Life

Defy the docility inflicted upon the masses
In the form of hysterical unbalanced news reporting
Anti social media atrophying your quality of life.
Practice reciprocal altruism and individuality.
We are all a work in progress.
Learn when to kick over the traffic cones on life's path
When that path becomes impassable
Retreat to a smoother thoroughfare.
Use your time on this planet to promote it's good health
Sustainability for future generations.
Wasting your time is wasting life itself.
Ignore the ignorant.
Love your loved ones
Seek out new possibilities
Be culturally aware and boldly go
Where no man or woman has gone before.

Ode To Alison

A ray of  sunshine
On the darkest of days
A beacon of light
With her unique ways

A silver tongue
With a heart of gold
A love of David Silva
If truth be told

A practical joke
Never far away
The first of April
Her busiest day

The sweetest of hearts
Reassuring and perceptive
Pouring warmth from every pore
A listener and receptive

“Don’t worry so much”
“You’ll be okay”
 Her calm and comforting words
 To see you through the day

She brought joy to so many
Of this there is no doubt
Her memory is a light
That will never go out

                                              


                                       

Poor Odds For Poor Sods

When life is tough
A scratchcard is a straw
To clutch for much hope
Less a means for charity
A percentage of proceeds
To buy shares in the afterlife
Jesus would have approved
Of this selfless giving
With no receipt
A 1 in 4 chance of breaking even
Poor odds for poor sods though

Life's Sweet Kiss

Blackberries and conkers
Make me go bonkers

With nostalgia and yearning
To stop the world turning

From the old to the new
There's nothing you can do

With time marching on
Too much of the year gone

To waste on doing stuff
That's boring, not off the cuff

Like seizing the day
Like making hay

Despite the April sleet
Where snow and rain meet

Swallowed by chilly air
Trying not to care

While viewing the sky
And realising why

There can be bliss
With life's sweet kiss

Sadness In Your Eyes

The sadness in your eyes
Belies your compulsive smile
Telling white lies to hide
Your black inner thoughts
A lifetime of comic timing
Blunted by age and time
Afflicted by a lack of alacrity
A victim of unimaginable cruelty
Tearing and clawing
At all you hold dear
Gripped by confusion and fear
Some broken hearts may never mend
But you'll be loved and supported
To the very end

If I Was A Celebrity

If I was a celebrity I'd be rubbish
I'd never appear on game shows
My reality would be all my own
I'd even wear all my own clothes

If I was a celebrity I'd be anonymous
Tweeting would be left for birds
My face would have no book
I'd forget all my written words

If I was a celebrity I'd be morose
I'd weep everyday and just want my Mum
My arse wouldn't know my elbow
I'd send telegrams to Instagram

If I was a celebrity I'd be sullen
I'd throw parties where nobody came
Wikipedia would describe me as reclusive
My fame would be so lame

Shapes

I circle town squares
While trying angles
And hobble long hours
To drink Ovaltine

Never Underestimate

You can accuse an oak tree of being wooden
But when it's foliage catches the breeze
Never underestimate it's attraction

Sun Kissed Face

Sun kissed summer days 
can remind us of a time that felt real
senses heightened to absorb
every new different experience
when your world is your playground
life tasting sweeter than a fruit salad chew
childhood, when all is fresh and new
when adults are strange beings

As adults life can feel surreal
especially on Northern Rail's track
with fuckery around every corner
of streets paved with the homeless
someone's always worse off than you though
a consolation prize in the race to the bottom
but each new day is a blessing
when the sun still kisses the face

Circus of the Death Wish Dickhead

Roll up, roll up for the worst show in town
The circus of the death wish dickhead
See him cycle with one hand on his groin
The other with a phone to his head

See him drive the stolen car
With his seat at 120 degrees
120 mph on an unlit motorway
Thinking he's the bees knees

A selfish, moronic, society draining lout
The law means nothing to him
Beyond rehabilitation or redemption
Uneducated, uncouth, unhinged and dim

Give the death wish dickhead a wide berth
He values neither your life nor his own
He's sure to disappear up his own arse
Still clutching his iPhone

A Prestwich Walk

Horse-shaped figurines amid swathes of green
A view of the field where I've just been
My stuttering gait to reach the gate
Of the clough and it's delights
Descending to a blue bridge
Beneath the azure sky
Over the rocky stream
Riveted by a rivulet struggling over stone
then ascent to a church
With the promise of heaven for the faithful
I sit on the fence
Moving on to the village
A takeaway reads "Ho Fat"
Unsure about the menu


Onto the Metro
A link in a chain of pain
Making a stand by refusing to sit
It smells a bit
Of fare dodgers
Reaching my destination
Reaching my destiny
Reaching the parts tutors don't teach
Reaching the parts others don't reach

Green And Unpleasant Land

A social life's not conducive
When you're semi-reclusive
An EU referendum now stuck in a rut
No fresh air when the door stays shut

White Van Man votes with the Sun
Dodgy builders adding zeros for fun
A nation divided, a union on a thread
A country squeezed blue, no future for red

A government feeding on seven deadly sins
Posh boys quaff Moet as the poor rattle tins
Hearts are broken and souls are sold
Greed left to flourish as evil takes hold

A perfect storm is in the making
If the Eton class keep taking
I fear it's already fated
A civil war is being created

I May Never

I may never reach my ultimate goal
always trying to save your soul
never discovering sustainable joy
always scheming with a plot and ploy

I may never find what I'm looking for
always pacifying and renouncing war
never feeling healthy for more than a week
always hiding when I should seek

I may never see the perfect day
always feel like running away
never felt comfortable in my own skin
always losing when it's easier to win

I may never curb negative feelings
always looking up at glass ceilings
never saying I like you
always thinking I love you

In My Darkest Hour

In my darkest hour
The sun never rose
Inky blackness enveloped my soul
Reached the lowest of a series of lows

In my darkest hour
The future was hidden
Wrapped in a cloak of sadness
The road to redemption forbidden

In my darkest hour
I was bloated and restless
A once joyful life a burden
My thoughts a shambolic mess

In my darkest hour
I prayed like a child
Sick of feeling unwell
The seed of health grown wild

In my darkest hour
I saw the right thing to do
The reason for never losing hope
The reason is you

Stillness Class

Hosted a stillness group
I served cock-a leekie soup
Nothing happened next
What did you expect?
A light show in a chicken coop?

A Chocolate Orange

Sentimental for remembrance

Of childhood sentiments

Of chocolate segments
nothing rhymes with orange

 

Pricked Conscience

Reached a fork in the road
A pitch fork
In the pitch darkness
It pricked my conscience

Miss Anthropy

Miss Anthropy deactivated Facebook
Living in a vicarious virtual void
Erstwhile friends kidnapped by social media
Even her dog was annoyed

Miss Anthropy was bitter towards Twitter
Her followers fell short of 5k
A goal to prove the world was kind
A shield to keep her demons away

Miss Anthropy retreated into a twilight existence
A bleak future beckoned without a foothold
Obstinate obscurity and sliding into oblivion
Out of the darkness she suddenly struck gold

Miss Anthropy wasn't born to despise mankind
Help was needed to rid her of hate
She changed her ways on a day of redemption
When she found Hello Poetry and her true soul mate!

Lallana's Banana

Adam Lallana ate a banana
Then found no bin for the skin
He threw it in a hedge
Then ate fruit and veg
And became melancholy

Healing Moon

As I lay gazing at a star filled sky
In the throes of woe in the dead of night
A beautiful healing moon appeared
In my line of sight

Belief in Relief

Woke up again to agonising pain
4.30am as if a daily sickening alarm call
Enough time passed for last night's medication
To leave me like a slighted guardian angel
This angry nerve by the name of sciatic
This debilitating condition is no amateur dramatic
Slipping a disc onto me will you?
Do you know who I am?
I have friends
Back, hip, buttock, thigh, knee, calf and foot
I laugh in the face of your desperate tears   
Is that all you can fight back with?
The medics have heard it all before
Another holder of a low pain threshold
Try this, do that. sort yourself out
A five minute walk leaves a raging inferno
The limb seeks revenge for this testing temerity
There's always someone worse off than you
Self pity wins no friends
This means nothing when trapped in a moment of desperation
Got to find a way
Got to find the signpost to health
I've got to

Stuck In The Middle Of Age

A series of jobs but never a career
Looking to the heavens for a seer

Frozen dreams not thawing in the deep midsummer
Time like a drain in need of a plumber 

Time falling away without a purpose
Lacking mirth and feeling worthless
Waiting to be discovered but lacking tenacity
Malnourished but lacking voracity


Reaching out for a reason to quell his rage
Stuck in the middle of his age

Waiting For The Day

Waiting for the day that may never come
No angry faces filled with hate
No speeding metal boxes driven by thugs
No fishing for harm with evil bait

Waiting for the end of never ending crime
Offenders scarring, riddling with strife
Victim's cases too often forgotten
No rehabilitation with society's lowlife

Waiting for an era with a new world order
The end of mankind's flailing flaws
Humanity's enduring propensity for injury
Killing and dying in the name of a cause

Waiting in vain for a day without pain
Religion twisted into a killing machine
Refugees labelled as economic migrants
Waiting for the day that's never been

Golfer Afraid of Affray at Fraying Fairway

• Man accused of stepping on toes of Steptoe
• Rookie gardener allergic to a newly mowed lawn
• Golfer afraid of affray at fraying fairway
• Metal detecting benefit cheat found with iron giro
• Football legend's club foot described as leg end
• Cereal killer allergic to flakes of corn
• Bird thief arrested wearing budgie smugglers