If I Was A Celebrity

If I was a celebrity I'd be rubbish
I'd never appear on game shows
My reality would be all my own
I'd even wear all my own clothes

If I was a celebrity I'd be anonymous
Tweeting would be left for birds
My face would have no book
I'd forget all my written words

If I was a celebrity I'd be morose
I'd weep everyday and just want my Mum
My arse wouldn't know my elbow
I'd send telegrams to Instagram

If I was a celebrity I'd be sullen
I'd throw parties where nobody came
Wikipedia would describe me as reclusive
My fame would be so lame