I was 16 years old and did something totally out of character. I bought a copy of Smash Hits magazine. I usually read either Sounds or the NME (New Musical Express). These 2 papers catered for my musical tastes of the day. Smash Hits most certainly did not It's readership largely catered for pubescent girls. I think maybe Kim Wilde was on the front cover or something which persuaded me to part with my 30p. Anyway, I flicked through all the crap then saw something which caught my eye. It was a page of ads for pen friends. This was something I wouldn't normally have given a second glance but I was feeling a little vulnerable at the time and lacked self confidence.
As my eye scanned the page, one particular ad caught my attention. It was for 2 girls aged 16 looking for pen friends with a similar aged boy with similar interests. Well, I was the same age and among their "liked" bands were Big Country. They were one of my favourite bands at the time and had some credibility. This was unusual for Smash Hits as their featured artists most weeks were from a fluffy pop nonsense background.
The address was a PO box number so I reached for my "MCFC Are Magic" pen and proceeded to write to them. At this stage, of course, I had no idea where they lived or what they looked like etc so I asked a few questions of this nature in my letter. The most unusual part of their ad was that there were 2 of them. 2 girls wanting friendship with 1 boy? I did think it a bit strange but it didn't stop me wanting to get involved(!)
I sent off my letter with my address enclosed and really didn't think that more of it. Around 2 weeks later I received a letter back from them in the post. They were calling themselves "Gladys" and "Mabel". There was also a photo enclosed of them both. However, they were both wearing hats and large sunglasses which largely concealed their identity and gave me not much idea of what they actually looked like. The letter did reveal that they lived in Yorkshire and they wanted to know more about Manchester and what other interests I had etc. They were also asking for a recent photo of me.
As already stated, I was lacking in self-esteem and, aged 16, I wasn't confident in showing them my spots and growing mullet so I rummaged through some photos I had and found one which was perfect. Someone had taken a photo of me from a few months earlier which had cut my head off so it was just me from the neck down sporting one of my Fred Perry t-shirts and a pair of skinny jeans (This was 1983). I thought "This will do nicely".
I set about writing another reply letter and enclosed the photo. They had revealed their full postal address so I sent it off to Yorkshire. Approximately 2 weeks later I received another reply. This time I wasn't in when the post arrived so when I got home there was a letter for all the family to see on the dining table addressed to "Clandestine Chris". This brought much amusement to my immediate family as they were previously unaware that I was writing to anyone. I fielded my family's questions the best I could but felt rather humiliated. In this second letter Gladys and Mabel were pleased I had sent a photo and complimented me on my legs(!) They had also sent a second photo of themselves fully revealing their identity (don't worry they were fully clothed!). The fact that they weren't Kim Wilde/Debbie Harry lookalikes coupled with the "Clandestine" comment drawing attention to me and themselves meant that I didn't write to them again or send another photo of me (how shallow is that ?!) so this pen friend relationship lasted 2 letters each which, in anyone's book, is rather pathetic don't you think?
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