At the start of 2004 I decided to update my computer skills so in late January I attended Tameside College to enrol on a fast track IT course. It was an intensive day and evening course which I completed in around 4 weeks and received my certificates in early March 2004. After some recent unhappy experiences, I decided to avoid Job Centre Plus advertised work so I signed on at 3 or 4 new employment agencies instead. Armed with my new certification, I was confident that more varied job opportunities would open up for me.
Within days of signing up to these agencies I had received several offers of interviews and temp work. One of the better paid roles was working for a wooden pallet distributor in Greater Manchester through an agency I had not used before. I was invited to a pre-interview assessment at the pallet place to test the level of my computer literacy, as well as other tests. I went along to it in the first week of March and, aided by the knowledge gained on my recent course, I received a pass mark for all the tests (which lasted around an hour). A couple of days later I was invited for an interview to reach the next level. I queried the exact nature of the job with the agency as I thought all this testing was a bit excessive so far. They said it was basically a data entry job(?!). I went along to the interview and was seen by 2 managers. It was one of the most intense interviews I have ever had. I got through it but was confused as to why this vetting process was so extensive for entering details of wooden pallets on a database!
A day or 2 later the agency rang to say I had passed the interview and they now wanted to see me for a final interview with a view to arranging a start date. My inner voice said, "Am I trying to work for a bloody pallet company or are they some sort of cover for a network of international spies?!". I went along for the 2nd interview considering whether to dress as Austin Powers "International Man of Mystery", but decided to just put on a suit again (Armani, you know how it is for us power dressers). This time I was interviewed by 2 different managers. My inner voice spoke again when they sat me down, "Oh for the love of God, you distribute pallets, what are you, a top secret organisation bent on world domination, or do you want me to find the world's weapons of mass destruction or a cure for the common cold or something?!" I somehow managed to get through this stage as well and was given a quick tour of the building. All I could see were grim faced office workers and, further afield in a warehouse area, more pallets than I had ever seen in one place before. I was told the agency would be in touch with a start date. I returned home rather apprehensive about this role but decided to give it a go anyway.
The agency rang me to say it would be initially a 3 month trial period with a view to becoming permanent and, much to my chagrin, gave me a start date of 17th March. My heart sank. "Do they not realise that is St Patrick's Day?! Don't they think I have better things to do on this day (getting uproariously drunk etc) than sit in a depressing office chatting about wooden pallets!", my ever-present inner voice ranted. Reluctantly, I agreed and decided St Patrick would have to cope without me this year.
The first day was intensive training on their database (now there's a surprise!). A young dark haired girl started on the same day as me. She seemed an interesting person. She was a drummer in a 3 piece rock band who were just starting out and were playing pub gigs etc. She had no car so I offered her a lift into town on my way home. She accepted the lift. It had been mostly a boring, but also difficult, day. As I dropped her off, I had to crawl through crowds of St Patrick's Day revelers, all inebriated at 5.30pm. I was so green with envy, my face matched the colours of the outfits. This did not improve my mood.
After 3 days, I realised that they were using the most over complicated, non user-friendly database ever created. This seemed to reflect the culture of this company. The reality was they were distributing pallets, that's all. They must have created this database after watching too many James Bond films. I continued to chat to the dark haired girl. She brought in a CD of her band (it looked genuine, her face was on the cover. I listened to it later and they were quite good) but the rest of my new colleagues all appeared to be post-graduates. I was post-Iceland Frozen Foods! The managers had dressed it up in the interviews to be a fun place to work but in reality, for me, it was as much fun as scraping dog crap off recently purchased expensive shoes. When lunching with them I tried to talk about various other subjects, which mostly brought blank stares, then the chat would return to wooden pallets again. Soul destroyed and spirit crushed doesn't even begin to describe how I felt.
After just one week, I decided I didn't want any future at this place so I left the building with drummer girl to give her what would prove to be the final lift into town. During the journey, she was telling me about a previous assignment she had been on where a colleague had seemed to be doing OK then just didn't turn up the next day and she described this as "so lame". I didn't tell her that this was precisely what I intended to do! I phoned the agency the next day and explained my position. I never used this agency again. Within 7 days I was working for a different employer via a different (very good) agency.
No comments:
Post a Comment